Office-Party

In Campaigns, Digital News by Kevin Fullerton

4 stages of your Christmas night out: all you need to avoid workplace embarrassment

You’ve woken up with hammers in your head, a pit of dread in your stomach and the conviction that you did something stupid the night before.

But what did you do?

Did your workmates notice?

And more importantly, where are your eyebrows and what’s your name again?

These are the worried thoughts swirling around every person who didn’t plan for the pitfalls of their Christmas night out with office colleagues.

You’ve drank too much, said the wrong thing and very possibly behaved obscenely with a desktop printer.

It seemed funny at the time, but now you can’t help wonder if drinking a Jägerbomb from a colleague’s shoe is a sackable offence.

So before you clock off and head for a #BNO with your mates, we’ve put together this helpful list to keep you looking sharp on your festive evening on the tiles.

1. Getting ready

You might be the sharpest dresser in the world, like a modern-day John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.

Your collection of suits could be unparalleled, a Lidl edition of Saville Row sartorial style – but most people in your office won’t notice as you phloomph into your ergonomic chair on a bedraggled Wednesday morning.

Gone are the days when you’re expected to resemble Don Draper’s cooler brother every time you come to work. Now any old pair of jeans and a t shirt will do.

But not so on a work’s Christmas night out. This is the one day of the year when you can pull your finery from the back of the wardrobe and swan into your office prouder than an actual swan.

Just remember one thing – you’ll probably be working all day in that elaborate get-up, so keep your layering to a minimum.

2. The meal

There was a time in my youth when a slap-up meal meant a bargain bucket at KFC and an extra-large Pepsi Max.

The idea of serving food on a plate seemed like a decadent fantasy reserved for upper class toffs who enjoyed rubbing caviar on their chests, chewing Swarovski-encrusted champagne flutes and ingesting rare delicacies devised by blind artisanal chefs in Polynesia.

Now I’m a bigger lad I enjoy the finer things in life. I even use a knife and fork while I eat, on special occasions.

This kind of decorum puts me on fine form when I head for a meal with work colleagues, and I’d recommend it. Eat enough but do so without looking like you should be using a trough.

But no meal is fun without the right company, so make sure that you’re sat next to a colleague who’s easy in conversation, and avoid anyone who you’re likely to disagree with. The last thing anyone wants is a heated argument over their plate of korma.

Our final piece of advice – eat plenty. You don’t know what you’ll be layering your stomach for later in the evening.

3. The drinks

When someone suggests getting shots in, all bets are off. Whether you’ve had one drink or five, a helping of tequila will make your inhibitions freer than the most regrettable open bar in the world.

To make sure you don’t tip over the edge and start flirting with that colleague you’ve secretly had your eye on for the last few years, we recommend sticking to light drinks that’ll take you into the wee small hours without losing your cool.

Drink plenty of water in between shots, too. This is the time of year for excess, but beer ads tell you to drink responsibly for a reason.

4. The morning after

If all goes well you left your work’s night out with a respectful tip of your hat, a cheery hug and a jovial chat with the taxi driver up the road.

But like Ian Brown, you’ve got the fear the morning after, and there’s every possibility you’ve created a king-size wheelbarrow of embarrassments for your next shift.

Here’s my advice as a copywriter who’s blasted through many a night out – climb out of those duvet covers and embrace your curious behaviour from the night before like a long-lost friend.

Did you stand on a bar and start singing Live Forever while doing your best Liam Gallagher impression? Own it.

Did you demand a pay rise from your boss as you accidentally burped in his face? Stand tall and don’t worry.

Have you tearfully confessed that yours was the Secret Santa gift purchased from Poundland? Laugh it off in the morning and get cracking with your job.

This is the time of year when embarrassment is as common as dodgy puns about Santa Clause, so fill your sack with them and try to let loose.

For more Christmas content & the chance to win some prizes take a look at our 2017 Advent Calendar.

 

For more Christmas content & the chance to win some prizes take a look at our 2017 Advent Calendar.

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